The Draw
by witchcat2012
Summary: In which two mortal nemesis get so tired that they do the most unthinkable thing. They TALK. Prepare for the ribbing, the backstory, and the yelling. Oh, and the embarrassment, can't forget that!
1. Chapter 1

So you're either have your mind blown, throw up, or wish you could unseen this entire fic, or perhaps, worst of all, THINK!

(Or maybe leave a nice review...Pls?)

* * *

"(wheeze)…(gasp)"

"Haaaa…."

"Well…(Gasp) looks like I win, (Wheeze) by default…plumber,"

"You're as…beat as…me, Bowser,"

"Fair…point, draw?"

"No…can't…gotta rescue...Peach,"

"Oh…come…on, you can…barely stand,"

"No thank…to you!"

"Missed."

"Missed. (Pant)"

"Missed again."

"Shut. Up."

….

"(Heave)"

"Aaand now you…can't even stand,"

"(huff)"

"Still out…of shape? After all…these years, red? I'm shocked,"

"Hard to keep…in shape…when…you're cooped up in a castle…all the time, you should…know of all people,"

"True…"

….

"What do you even do in that castle Plumber?"

"Y'know, help with the piping, bake cakes with Peach...lessons, all that sort of stuff,"

"Lessons? On what? 'How to tell castles apart?'"

"Very funny,"

"Basic English for foreigners?"

"I don't even talk like that!"

"Jumping revision?"

"That. Was. One. Time!"

"Riiight,"

"If you must know, its…etiquette, public speaking,"

"What?"

"I know right? A big change from stomping and hammertime, huh? Peach wanted me to be able to do that at least in those royal dinner parties and delegations,"

"You think she's…?"

"Yeah, but she's not pushing, 'sides, if the day ever comes, I can just push it to my brother,"

"He would love that,"

"mm,"

…

"Did you have to go through that too? I mean, not the etiquette maybe, but…?"

"(Snort) definitely not. I dunno, Dad just kinda…taught by example, 'Intimidation' 'trap building 101' 'minion management'"

"Didn't the Goombas riot last month?"

"So maybe some didn't sitck,"

"Yup."

"Hey, I'll have you know it's pretty hard to run a kingdom by yourself,"

"Oh I know it, Peach needs three cups of coffee to get through the morning alone, I could become a barista if I wanted to! It's actually a nice change when you come to kidnap her,"

"Really,"

"Doesn't mean its not wrong though, I'll gladly pummel you from sun up to sun down,"

"Hah,"

"I'm serious! Sheesh,"

...

"…Hey,"

"What?"

"I just noticed, you have some white hair,"

"Yeah,"

"Bit early, isn't it?"

"Peach freaked out a bit, but the doctors think its...genetic,"

"OH."

"Ji's been getting it too,"

….

"So, How do you tell a koopa's age exactly? Besides puberty I mean,"

"Where did that come from?"

"Just curious, You don't have to say, Is it like asking a woman's weight?"

"No!"

"Actually, on that note, I can't tell gender either, For all I know you could be female,"

"NO!"

"I'm kidding! Sorry, too much?"

….

"…The shell, depending on how many ridges or sections there are you can tell any Koopa's age or whether they're a girl or a boy,"

"Huh, really?"

"…You're looking at my shell now, aren't you?"

"No! Maybe yeah a little shut up."

"Gosh I can't believe you fell for it!"

"What."

"You're so gullible!"

"SHADDUP!"

"The shell, man that's a good one!"

"Why I oughta-"

"-Can't wait to tell the others."

"FORGET ABOUT SUN UP AND SUN DOWN I'M GONNA PUMMEL YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!"

"Careful there, that's not proper talk for a princess, y'know,"

"…What did you call me?"

"Well, you're next in line, and a girl, so Princess, right?"

"…Yeah, I guess, s'kinda hard to imagine though,"

"So…How do you keep it all in?"

"Sorry?"

"You know…That, that,"

"Oh, um, a good binder, that's all, pretty comfortable too,"

"A binder, so then…?"

"More like curious then anything, Also never call me that again,"

"What, Princess? Why not?"

"How would you feel if I called you Junior? In front of others? (And the fact that you weigh ten of me)"

"…Good point."

…

"Its kinda amazing how much our guardians affect our lives, me with…Peach and you with Bowser Senior,"

"Yeah,"

…

"What are you doing?"

"Peach is just behind that wall over there, Hold on,"

"You're letting me through? Just like that?"

"I'm still pretty tired, or do you want to finish where we left off?"

"Nope, this is fine,"

"Good. There. You know what to do,"

"..Thanks, Bowser Junior,"

"No problem…Princess Marion,"

"Marion!" Peach ran up to her and touched her face. The young woman smiled before hugging the princess. Tight. She was just as soft as ever.

In the giant, lava-filled castle, covered in soot and sweat, in the arms of her kind and loving Guardian, her-her Mother, she felt safe.

"Hi Peach, You okay?"

"Yes,"

Through the strands of blonde hair, she saw Bowser Junior looking a bit sheepish. Face turned, arms crossed, and a vaguely uncomfortable expression on his face. He was so stiff that it seemed he was trying to hide from Peach by pretending to be a statue.

Bowser Jr wasn't usually there when they had their reunion, so he probably felt a bit lost. And-

Oh.

Marion remembered the original reason why Junior wanted Peach. He wanted her to be his mother. Maybe it was more than one kind of loss he was feeling.

"Oh dear," Peach suddenly touched her cheek, which was still bright red from effort, "you look exhausted! Was it tougher this time?"

"A little, we actually had a draw, but Bowser Junior was nice enough to let me through,"

"Oh really?"

"HEY!" Bowser Jr's face turned from uncomfortable to furious. He swerved, losing all pretence that he was a statue. His face was as red as the plumber's jacket.

"I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT!"

Marion blinked, "You never said anything about that,"

"IT WAS HINTED!"

Ooh, a bit of firebreath there, thankfully Peach held in her laughter long enough to distangle herself from her Daughter and face the giant Koopa.

"Well, Junior, since you were so kind, would you like to come over and have cake?"

"Uh-?" The tongues of flames petered out almost instantly.

"Wouldn't the toads panic a bit? They might send in the troops. Toadsworth might finally have that heart Attack,"

"Him...good point, very well then, we shall send some by mail,"

Junior huffed, "As if I want your smushed up old cake,"

"There's the Junior we all know and love. To hate."

"Hnngh..."

* * *

So is this an AU? A theory? A hallucination dream from too much cheese?

Or something else?

You decide!


	2. Chapter 2

The Day After

It was interesting how much Bowser and Bowser Jr. looked like each other, both as kids and as adults. The only difference was the bandanas they wore as kids.

Now as adults, only Bowser's greying hair could help distinguish between the two.

So when Bowser Jr. sat on his throne, it was almost like the old days, what with the scowl on his face, and the quiet tapping of his claws on the armrest.

All the minions, new or not, knew the signs, avoided. He was bored.

They weren't wrong. But there was something else they couldn't detect.

He was also waiting.

"Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert!"

The tapping stopped. Though most didn't notice that because they were too busy screaming in utter panic and terror, waiting for Bowser Jr. to do something about it.

He leaned forward.

 _She didn't._

"They're coming this way!"

 _She wouldn't._

A second voice, this one gargling with rocks, rang into the castle.

"What's all the ruckus?!"

That was Bowser Sr. managing to look fearsome with his cane and white hair. There was a look in his eyes that Jr. knew only so well. It was his just-woke-from-his-nap-and-now-viable-to-firebreath-someone look.

"Dad! What-what are you doing up so early?"

"All that yelling woke me from my nap," Sr. growled.

"W-well, you can just go back to bed, I'll deal with the intruder,"

Fluff, why did he have to mention that?

"An intruder, eh?" Bowser Sr seemed more awake, and intrigued, "How about we deal with them together? Just like old times!"

"Yeah, old times," Junior frowned and gulped.

"They're getting closer!"

As they waited, Junior's mind raced.

It could would make sense for her of all people to come to deliver, all the other toads would be too terrified to even go near his place, most didn't even know where his place was, even after all these years. She could brave all the dangers. She even knew where the throne room was. Plus she was pretty much fireproof.

Now she would come to Castle, find two Dragon-Koopas waiting for her, and knowing her she would immediately tell Bowser Senior why she was there.

This was soo going to ruin his reputation.

"They're here!"

There was that familiar, impossibly happy sound of her bounce, becoming louder…louder…

They all recognized that sound. Bowser Senior chuckled, shifting from foot to foot, looking ten years younger. If Junior wasn't dreading every moment, he would've been quite happy.

The doors opened. Junior gulped.

"YOSHI!"

What.

The green dinosaur hopped to the throne, threw down the pack, then left. The two koopas were so surprised that they didn't even move.

"What. Was that."

After a lot of pushing and shoving, a goomba waddled over the box and poked it. Nothing happened.

Carefully, a koopa picked it up and brought it to the throne.

"Package for King Bowser the Second!"

"GIVE ME THAT."

Junior snatched the box away, Senior looked at him.

"Junior…Is there something you're not telling me?"

"No!" Junior said, opening the box.

"Is that Peach's cake?"

"N-Yes."

This got his flame growing.

"WHY WOULD THE PRINCESS OF TOAD KINGDOM, THE WOMAN BOTH YOU AND I KIDNAPPED SO MANY TIMES SEND YOU A CAKE?! AND NOT TO ME?!"

"I-I-"

"Look Boss, a letter!"

That koopa was getting a raise. A small one.

 _'Dear Bowser Jr,_

 _Here is the cake we agreed on. Thank you for letting us go._

 _Peach and Nario_

 _PS, We didn't know what flavor you like, so we made a slice of every conceivable flavor we could think of_

 _PPS, We also included some that we didn't. Don't ask how,_

 _PPPS, Actually we did a focus group, Luiji likes stuff like that"_

 _Oh good pie in the sky I knew she wasn't that stupid. Sorta. No. I didn't._

"So…You let my worst enemy go, with my precious princess, in return for cake?"

 _…I take that back._

"Uh…Yes?"

"Good work son!" Bowser Senior did his hearty laugh, (Which did sounded nothing like his evil cackle, ending several bets in the process). This cake is a national treasure!"

 _She is a genius._

 _I am never saying that outloud._

"Now, lets have some cake!"

"Can we have some?" One Dry-Bones popped up.

"You don't even have a stomach."

"I can dream?"

"NO."

He wasn't upset for too long, I mean, what did he expect?

"Nario? Did you remember to take out the cupcakes for the minions?"

"Yup! The Toads helped! I still don't know how you can fit all of those in one oven!"

"Lots of practice! And baking powder!"

* * *

y'Know, I may make a comic series about this! If I get enough requests.


End file.
